Ramadan 3 - Fajr Thoughts.
There's so much I want to tell you. It feels like everything in this world should pause so that we can have a conversation. Or maybe I shall pause myself and sit beside You. There's this heart that I want to place in Your hands first. I know the moment You shall hold it all my sorrows will vanish. Then there's my yearning to fill in the void within my heart. You and Your remembrance shall take place within the space. I shall be humbled with shame, tranquillity, and consciousness as You enter this one space that shall be my Abode.
We shall talk of my deeds, and I secretly pray and hope you will erase my sins in a speck of moment! For I do not have the courage or will in me to sit before You and respond to them. So clear my slate, and that's a seeking on its own.
Then we shall talk of this temporal journey I was sent down for. Of the moments You've been so close yet far. Of why some days I found it hard to cope even to breathe while some other days I was simply rejoicing with the provisions you've blessed me with.
We can then talk of where I shall rest. My desire is it to be under Your throne, for there shall be no better shade! Let me walk through fields and roads that will take me to the households of your favourites and their favourites.
At last, when I do meet You, I shall confess my love and feel a sense of fulfilment. A sense of closure for all that I was yearning and looking for. I shall be content with knowing, for once my love has been acknowledged by the Love itself.
So ya Wadud, grant me the blessing to meet you, to sit with you and confess what this heart shall hold.
