This is personal and it is going to be long. The reason I felt I have to share this here is with the hope at least one of you would be open to a different side of the world, or maybe a thought. In sha Allah.
Last year i got divorced. It was hard, mentally to grasp the whole situation. Never did I think of coming to such a point. Soon after signing the papers I had people wishing me khair. Telling me it's for something better. And some of them went an extra mile welcoming me back to singlehood and cheering me up with the lucky title. The entire talk would be put to an end consoling the privilege I enjoy.
I would smile and accept it. Because in a way I was privileged. On the social and legal aspect, I was. I had to go through the emotional trauma and am still in the process of healing.
I was reminded again and again of how it was my supportive ecosystem that made it easy for me.
So that's more like a backstory of what i want to say.
The thing is when I kept reflecting upon this thought of being privileged I realised it didn't merely come from being born in a supportive family or not having nosey neighbours. It wasn't easy because of feminism or that i had some super natural voice that could shut everyone else. Neither was it money, influential family status or any other such labels.
Infact my parents have basic education if you read it in the line of academics and how we often say education defines progressiveness. India being a patriarchy induced culture is where I live. And how come things were different for me, or in the word of my well wishers 'easy'.
The fact is I am privileged by Allah's mercy and blessing. And the privilege lies in my faith. The same faith I share with my family and my supporters.
This privilege is to surrender and submit to Allah. The intensity may vary from person to person, but i believe this fundamental conviction of living life based on Allah's commands and order and only bowing down our heads to our lord, literally and metaphorically is my privilege.
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My parents and siblings were never afraid of how the society would judge, for they knew Allah is our Judge. They weren't afraid of how their daughter/sister could be looked down on, because their fear is in displeasing Allah. They never complained of making a decision neither did they feel the need to interfere to change my mind. All of this came from the basic understanding and learning and belief in the Creator, the Most Merciful.
When i look at my privilege i realise it isn't exclusive to me, neither is it exclusive to Muslims. My lord is the Most Kind and Compassionate, the one who Graciously is The Beloved. And Allah is for mankind.
While going through legal side of divorce according to Islam i was able to reflect upon the Quran and Hadith several times. It's an open book for any seeker. The Quran wasn't sent down as a religious text for Muslims. It was and is sent down for mankind. And what always swells my heart with tears is how many times Allah reassures us about the Mercy, The Kindness, The Provisions, The Protection and a lot more.
The very first word revealed was 'Iqra' which literally translated to "Read". Imagine Allah, the creator of everything seen and unseen, the Magnificent and the one who holds the power of Life and Death. With all of the attributions to be labelled and much more, yet Allah's first command is to Read. Subhanallah. It is beyond one's understanding I feel, but the fact is it does make sense when we go through the next verses and few other verses in the Quran.
Most of the time Allah calls out "Oh Mankind". And then Allah asks us to listen, to look out, to read, to think ,to observe. I kept reflecting upon these and realised that when someone surrenders their entire self to Allah there is nothing that can defeat them.
What our society lacks is this surrender, this conviction that God is Almighty and there is no one above that.
We are stuck in a world that is promised to turn into dust itself. Yet our hearts and minds are occupied by what another dust thinks about us.
I had a friend of mine tell me how he has seen many Muslim friends of him complain about the religion. How he finds it hard to believe that i have no complaints about being a Muslim, particularly a Muslim woman. He kept pushing over the thought that I was oppressed.
I asked him to look at me, to show me at what point he thinks I was oppressed.
The fact is, Allah never could tolerate a creation of the Almighty being oppressed, so how could submitting to our lord ever bring upon Oppression.
It is nothing but the easiest door to access lifetime privilege.
We have to read. We have to listen. We have to look. We have to observe. We have to reflect. We have to pray. And for all of this to happen we have to accept to submit. Submission is and will only be the key to peace. Islam has derived two meaning one is Peace and the other is To submit. This submission should be to Allah alone. If not what happens is we find chaos surrounding us. We feel less privileged and utterly lost.
I know the Muslim youth including me today is struggling, to find a space and understand their faith in a world filled with explicit evil. Everything that is cultural is somehow imbibed into religion and often we are completely deviating from the faith and it's spiritual norms.
For eg.Prayer which is supposed to be an intimate conversation with you lord on Allah's command has become a mere ritual. Everywhere you have justification and reasoning but not faith.
It can be hard living a life with confusions and chaos. This is why you have the Quran. It's not a book that speaks about how to worship, but it is the key to living in this world. And if one has the Quran close to oneself, there's no way they would drift into the maze of hardships.
Life on this earth is and will always be a trial. And every trial is a blessing of its own. And every blessing a trial.
My privilege will and is always my faith in Allah. And a family who has helped me grow along with it.
My prayers to everyone is to have this privilege,to open up to your Lord who is eagerly waiting. There is a Hadith that goes like this " Allah say, take one step toward Me, I will take 10 steps towards you, Walk to Me, I will run to you"
Subhanallah.
There you have, the Wise one, The one who does not need you in any way, The Independent, The Bestower, The Guide, The Beloved waiting for you to merely call so as to run to you. What more would we want.
There's a verse in the Quran that comes into my head now.
"So which of the favours of your lord will you deny?"
I'll leave it with that for you to ponder. If you find something in here triggering you, I tell you to turn to the Quran. If you feel you are not able to comprehend, seek help, and Allah will grant it.
My sincere prayers for my brothers and sisters who are struggling.
Love. Dua. Salaam.
Hiba Farook
