Kisses From the East Wind.

The wind came from the east today,

carrying tears of my lover.

A letter, calling me to our abode.

The ship has left, so did the last bus.

How do I return to a land,

so foreign to me?

Your memories are distant,

so is your name.

Then the musky wind kissed my nose,

and I travelled time.

Lessons Learnt In A Dream

Summoning me in Your miracles

Every slumber You take me on a journey.

Today was a path towards Time.

A precious creation often looked down on.

You who created all that's creating.

You who lives beyond all the life.

You've been kind than kindness defined

Lightly in my subconscious teaching me.

So I woke up hastily, from a deeper sleep.

My soul reconnected to its casket,

A breath to prove of my life(full)ness.

Drenched to let my sins fall.

Bowing on the mud, my forehead 

Cleansed with your closeness.

My body wakened at the lowest of plane.

My soul elevated beyond the untouched.

Ya Al-Mujeeb, no questions left unanswered

Ya Al-Wadud, no yearning left unloved 

Ya Al-'Afuw, no sin left unforgiven

Ya Ar-Rabb, no moment left unremembered.

Abode

Amidst the temporal bliss this world has cursed and blessed me, there was a yearning erupting inside me.

To look for a home, like a fool. 

And then You, i stumbled upon my journey. 

You took hold of my soul, shaking it. I felt my sins falling apart.

Holding, You close, i wished for nothing but a departure from this inn that man praises.

My yearnings have faded, with only one prayer uttering on my tongue.

Provide me with an abode, under Your throne. 

A Wail The Wind Carried.

What does one do with all this love they hold?

I've drank enough from it, oh beloved!

Which mountains have captured you?

Which roads have blocked you?

Which hands have caged you?

Your absence leaves me with a burdened bosom.

Walking I wait, running I yearn.

Embrace this insane heart you possess.

I am exhausted of holding in love,

Brimming to shower your soul,

before we depart.

Sinful Love

What is it that is so sinning about love that it hurts? 

She asked of a tone more like a mere whisper.

It isn't love that's sinning, it's the lover or the act of love. We tend to expect, and that's the first error a human does when they love. Then we tend to blame for humans are never satisfied. After all that we tend to kill it with our ego. Only if we did love and simply love rather than transforming such a divinity into everything except love. Then it's sinning and if you sin you're hurt. 

Eyes

They speak a language, quite unheard. Her eyes, deep in them captured are stories of souls broken.

They'd glance at you and make you want to express the unfelt in the most vulnerable way.

They are mirrored reflection of what you are, what you mean to her. 

They are poetry with the touch of lunatic serenity that you, don't deserve to understand. 

Humility

A tiny speck of ink blot on the corner,

the writer's furious expressions.

A splash of paint that fell on the floor,

As an artist agressively articulated an art.

I am the nothingness that was born.

A catalyst between the maker and made.

A bridge between the seeker and seen.

A tiny particle lost, so as to find meaning.

So humble me my lord,

ground me to the earth.

Let me not weigh my ignorance,

and die before death kisses my lips.

Picture from Khalil Gibran's exbition at House of Wisdom

Art.

Sometimes you find yourself transported into another universe. Your thoughts seem to flow like a river, shrinking your ego amidst the splashes of colors. Art has a gracefully rebellious way of making one humble. You stare at them and wander to different lanes of emotions. You are curious to visit the alleys and attics of the artist’s soul. To find stories, to find meaning. And through that, you cleanse a bit of yourself. Something in you awakens, pushing the deepest of agonies aside and spreading wings of compassion alongside. A tinge of guilt forms at the thought of enjoying a life’s journey that probably had its share of pain and grieving. They may not always speak to your eyes, but often it feels they listen to your mind’s malady.

Artist - Noura Ali-Ramahi

From her collection Suadade

Exhibited at Etihad Modern Art Gallery

Nature's Canvas

It felt sinful to peep out at the sea. The calm melody it sung was heard and it put my heart to rest. The sky was blushing blue and crimson. As if the moon had not seduced enough, she hung down covering herself partially with what seem like a blanket of cotton. There was so much to be thankful for in this moment. So much to remind myself of the Artist behind this beautiful canvas of life.

Tormented Yearning.

Did the mountains call me, or are they echoing your cry for my presence?

Zuv, when shall this torment of yearning end, so that i shall find myself moving towards eternity? I feel death has come so long before i died. It has found an abode within me. And so i have a graveyard in my body. All i need is to take one step away from your memories and i shall drop dead, peacefully.

Maybe.

Maybe, just maybe on a parallel universe, or at a different time and space, I'd wake up, to the blessed sight of you, in serenity sleeping, with your gentle arms tucked by my waist. I'd be surprised and as everyday, to what deed have I been granted this. I'd stare, at how immensely yet out of full ease you breath, I'd want to shower you with kisses, but then my silence and stillness is a lullaby for you, and I should let it be. I wouldn't know what it is, when it is, how it is, but for you, I'd lie down, till you'd wake up and then like the breaking dawn, your smile would shine throughout out, illuminating my day and oh, madno! my soul!

Moment Before.

There's a blade that cuts through my fingers as i spill these words, so if they are stained of red, my dear fret not they are only your sweet lady's rawness.

I don't want to be stopped, so amidst the struggle i wish to pen this here.

I want to devour your lips, like there shall be no end. But i am well aware neither you nor time shall be in my possession.

So let me enjoy and endure this painful moment i have that shall last as a memory for another decade or two, or until i meet lips that taste soulful and serene and better than yours. But for now, let me cherish this moment, right before we kiss, the one second where i anticipate and imagine what you shall be remembered for in the coming second. This fraction of second where my heart finds it hard to hold in and explodes, even before we've met and locked. This one moment, shall be the frame captured through my soul's window. My dearest, kiss me then.

Ramadan 3 - Fajr Thoughts.

There's so much I want to tell you. It feels like everything in this world should pause so that we can have a conversation. Or maybe I shall pause myself and sit beside You. There's this heart that I want to place in Your hands first. I know the moment You shall hold it all my sorrows will vanish. Then there's my yearning to fill in the void within my heart. You and Your remembrance shall take place within the space. I shall be humbled with shame, tranquillity, and consciousness as You enter this one space that shall be my Abode. 

We shall talk of my deeds, and I secretly pray and hope you will erase my sins in a speck of moment! For I do not have the courage or will in me to sit before You and respond to them. So clear my slate, and that's a seeking on its own. 

Then we shall talk of this temporal journey I was sent down for. Of the moments You've been so close yet far. Of why some days I found it hard to cope even to breathe while some other days I was simply rejoicing with the provisions you've blessed me with.

We can then talk of where I shall rest. My desire is it to be under Your throne, for there shall be no better shade! Let me walk through fields and roads that will take me to the households of your favourites and their favourites. 

At last, when I do meet You, I shall confess my love and feel a sense of fulfilment. A sense of closure for all that I was yearning and looking for. I shall be content with knowing, for once my love has been acknowledged by the Love itself. 

So ya Wadud, grant me the blessing to meet you, to sit with you and confess what this heart shall hold. 

Ar-Rahman

Another Ramadan is here and I am excited like a child. When I heard the imam start Takbeer I felt my heart expand and lighten. Every stress I carried seems to have lift away and my heart congested and struggling seems to be left with a void. Nothing was disturbing me. I was a child I felt. Subhanallah!

Yesterday morning I was in tears begging my Lord to take away this burden. How much I wanted to feel things without having the struggle of breathing heavily. 

This was indeed a moment I will cherish for the rest of my life. It wasn't about my mental health switching to the best of its capacity. It wasn't about me healing in a moment. It was the hope, the assurance, the consciousness that Allah is merciful and the mercy will be showered upon the broken.

Ramadan has grown into me as I grew up. Every year I have had a different approach and as year's pass by I see myself yearning for this month. It is indeed a blessing and a great rizq from Allah to be alive and experience yet another Ramadan.

With everything life has showered on me, there is this one thing that has helped me keep moving on. The truth that my lord is Ar-Rahman. And that means there's no other mercy I need to rely on. 

I could be broken in this world, emotionally scarred, and mentally drained. I can be misunderstood and spoken evil about. I could have hurt myself throughout the journey and along with that broken some hearts. But Allah, The Most Merciful has a way of showering kindness and compassion through this Mercy. Of giving a hope that life isn't all that bad in this world. Of reassuring how close and near Allah is. Of how loving and caring Allah is. 

I may be broken to the extend I find it hard to breathe, but what keeps me alive is knowing I have Allah. With all hopelessness and anxiety, this alone keeps me striving to become better.

Trust me as I say, a believer will have to struggle in this world. That is part of the purpose of worshipping and striving to please Allah. This struggle is often shaithaan trying to allure one into this worldly affairs. Ramadan is one month when this struggle is given a rest. For Allah promises to chain the shaitan within all of us.

Alhamdulillah.

Ramadan 1

There is a means of kindness I find myself surrounded by at the moment. A sense of ease is endured and I know how my Lord has opened the special door. This is the month of Ramadan and there is nothing but khair everywhere for a believer.

The words I am pondering over today are kindness and compassion. And there's no one more kind than my Lord. Subhanallah! 

My lord, this sinner has reached again at the doorstep of another blessed Ramadan. You are kind and beyond to have let me cross Sha'aban. Ya Allah, my prayers are for the ease of my heart, soul, mind and body. I want Your peace to shower me. And so let this slave of yours surrender.

Firstly my thoughts that needs a fitnah filter. Because You, my Lord, know how troublesome my thoughts can be. Ease them with Your peace as I submit my thoughts at your decree. Secondly my heart and its spaces. Fill them with Your Love and Possessiveness. Nothing else shall possess this heart unless You decree upon me. Ya Allah, wash away the black spots. Purify each of them every time I seek Your forgiveness. This heart has a void and that shall be your abode. If Allah wills. Ya Rahman, make my body a symbol of your faith and nothing more. Make it an identity of your ownership over it. This humble soul shall require nothing but Your pleasure. Ya Allah, this soul that I am sent down with is entirely Yours and so when You are extremely pleased with it, carry it away to a place of eternity. Where in this soul finds shelter, right under Your throne. Ya Gaffar, forgive this soul. Forgive the eyes, ears, tongue, hands, legs, and every atom of this being. May your kindness and compassion weigh more than this sinners act. 

Let me by Your sole will take each step towards Your Jannah. Let each word I write be tomorrow a witness for the good in me if You will. Let me be Your favourite soul that is blessed by Your Mercy 

Aameen Ya Rabb. 

Man so flawed dared to use the word "perfection".

Proof again of how limited and imperfect we are.

.

Bitter Sweet Memories or Something Like That.

I've missed you. There were days when the bitter coldness you have let me sip on that was a shower of bliss. There is no way you are going to be replaced. After years of what seems like an eternity, we met today. The first time we met, I was unaware of what you would mean to me. 

What has life become since then, a journey of constant changes? Yet you remain the same. Do you ever yearn for us to go back to what we were? Ah! Those days of solitude. I missed you. I did. And I missed the girl as well. I am sure she is proud of everything I am today. Also a little coward. That's how it is meant to be.

Your bitterness never lasted long. It always found sweet endings. I prefer my life to last the same way. To survive the bitterness to see life coming into a sweet departure. 

There are so many memories held alongside you. Remember a stranger had come sat next to us. With an infant. You found joy watching me play with her. For the next sip was even sweet. 

For me, there's such intensity and hence my memories are stronger. They are hard to erase and this is just a speck of dust of all the galaxy I have within me. And for most of us, this is life. A galaxy within the tiny dot we are is what makes all of us. Beautiful, ain't it?

Solitude. Forest. Reflections

There has always been a yearning. To find space amidst the green lush or a mighty mountain. To sit and contemplate. Or even merely breath. To reflect. Because the amount of energy one requires to pace in today's world is tremendous. And do I have that sort of energy? I doubt so!

Last three days as I spent time in the forest, that's how it was. To be able to breathe free. Without the constant reminder of how miserable the world we live in is. I was detached. I was not merely enduring but I felt alive. For a moment or two, I found myself drooling back to what's outside this little world, but I caught hold of myself.

There was an abundance of thoughts and words that surged. From thinking of being grateful to my hand, to wanting to build a mansion of words, they ranged. 

I am not sure if I am happy or content. What I do know is I am glad I did what I did. I have gone around and experienced a yearning and lived it.

There's so much one reflects in such seclusion. There's so much one learns in such a space. Solitude does have its perks for a believer.

 Alhamdulillah for if not for my Lord I would have not survived to write this.

PC - Shaad

2.4.2021- Risks and Consequences

Today could mark the first step, of what is and will be always wrote down in history as a moment i learnt to make decisions and stick to them. The consequences following this are scary, that makes me want to run back to my cocoon of comforts. Where there is no fear of the unpredictablity life would shower down me with. This urge to break out of my own comfrotness is what scares me. But i feel if i don't take this risk i might succumb to something worse. And that is hella scary. I have come to realise how my mind never settles and so when my body is confirmed into a place it erupts and causes a chaos of conflicts. (Ugh! That sentence was raw and pure and an ornated form of weaving words. So don't be immersed in it's beauty for heaven sake.)

So this is the beginning, of risks and consequences. and may God be with me. And may i be with my Lord more than anything. May i not forget what it is to be a believer in this journey, for that's only what has kept me sane so far. 

[2.4.2021

Off to Wayanad alone for the first time. I visited Wayanad when i was 15 and the place has since then had a huge place within me. Today about a decade later i make it there by myself. My lord, grant me khair through th journey. I love you and on you alone i depend.]

we pay the price for laughing

Yes, we loved each other. More than what this universe could hold. In fact the pandemic broke out the moment we arrived into this little bubble. Ah! The blessings of the Almighty to put us under this trial of a love game. No! I don't call it that anymore. It wasn't merely love. It was a lot more than that. It was a connection that cannot be defin by labels to find approval among man. So what was it then? God alone knows!

But now, it's nothing. It's there somewhere lost in this world, just like everything is lost somewhere out there. There's nothing that actually disappears from this world. Everything at some point just comes back in some other form and shape. And if they don't they're just getting ready.

You and I were like magnets that erupted a disaster within us. A choatic combination of intense love and skepitical thoughts surrounded by man that called himself sane. Everytime we talked of how crazy and sickening it was for the world to put up a mask and put up a show, we also laughed. Maybe that's our sin. To laugh at the naive(ignorant actually).

So we pay the price. The world mocks us as insanes, tying us to a bottle of slumber and a cage specially crafted to hold our rawness. 

Burdened earth teaches a lesson

I am wounded. I know. But who isn't in today's world? Isn't this world burdened with bruises that are yet to be cured? Yes! God damn it stinks around. The pleasures are all to recover from the pains of yesterday. And if at all there is a soul that does breath fine, they are hurried centuries ago and have finely turned to dust. The world is so old yet how does it succumb all of this? What about man is so precious that there is still so much the world accepts? 

Maybe that's how we learn to be sefless🌼

Maybe that's how we learn to love even after being broken and burdened with someone else's misery.

Most often when two people break apart, one of them just surrounds with an amount of sadness that was to be equally carried by both. The sufferer was the lover and the one who escaped the loved. And often the lover is the earth that warms up again, from winter to summer and hold open their heart again to love. 

/May wounds heal. May lovers be loved. May loved be lovers./

Privilege

This is personal and it is going to be long. The reason I felt I have to share this here is with the hope at least one of you would be open to a different side of the world, or maybe a thought. In sha Allah.

Last year i got  divorced. It was hard, mentally to grasp the whole situation. Never did I think of coming to such a point. Soon after signing the papers I had people wishing me khair. Telling me it's for something better. And some of them went an extra mile welcoming me back to singlehood and cheering me up with the lucky title. The entire talk would be put to an end consoling the privilege I enjoy. 

I would smile and accept it. Because in a way I was privileged. On the social and legal aspect, I was. I had to go through the emotional trauma and am still in the process of healing. 

I was reminded again and again of how it was my supportive ecosystem that made it easy for me. 

So that's more like a backstory of what i want to say. 

The thing is when I kept reflecting upon this thought of being privileged I realised it didn't merely come from being born in a supportive family or not having nosey neighbours. It wasn't easy because of feminism or that i had some super natural voice that could shut everyone else. Neither was it money, influential family status or any other such labels. 

Infact my parents have basic education if you read it in the line of academics and how we often say education defines progressiveness. India being a patriarchy induced culture is where I live. And how come things were different for me, or in the word of my well wishers 'easy'.

The fact is I am privileged by Allah's mercy and blessing. And the privilege lies in my faith. The same faith I share with my family and my supporters.

This privilege is to surrender and submit to Allah. The intensity may vary from person to person, but i believe this fundamental conviction of living life based on Allah's commands and order and only bowing down our heads to our lord, literally and metaphorically is my privilege.

.

My parents and siblings were never afraid of how the society would judge, for they knew Allah is our Judge. They weren't afraid of how their daughter/sister could be looked down on, because their fear is in displeasing Allah. They never complained of making a decision neither did they feel the need to interfere to change my mind. All of this came from the basic understanding and learning and belief in the Creator, the Most Merciful.

When i look at my privilege i realise it isn't exclusive to me, neither is it exclusive to Muslims. My lord is the Most Kind and Compassionate, the one who Graciously is The Beloved. And Allah is for mankind.

While going through legal side of divorce according to Islam i was able to reflect upon the Quran and Hadith several times. It's an open book for any seeker. The Quran wasn't sent down as a religious text for Muslims. It was and is sent down for mankind. And what always swells my heart with tears is how many times Allah reassures us about the Mercy, The Kindness, The Provisions, The Protection and a lot more. 

The very first word revealed was 'Iqra' which literally translated to "Read". Imagine Allah, the creator of everything seen and unseen, the Magnificent and the one who holds the power of Life and Death. With all of the attributions to be labelled and much more, yet Allah's first command is to Read. Subhanallah. It is beyond one's understanding I feel, but the fact is it does make sense when we go through the next verses and few other verses in the Quran. 

Most of the time Allah calls out "Oh Mankind". And then Allah asks us to listen, to look out, to read, to think ,to observe. I kept reflecting upon these and realised that when someone surrenders their entire self to Allah there is nothing that can defeat them. 

What our society lacks is this surrender, this conviction that God is Almighty and there is no one above that. 

We are stuck in a world that is promised to turn into dust itself. Yet our hearts and minds are occupied by what another dust thinks about us. 

I had a friend of mine tell me how he has seen many Muslim friends of him complain about the religion. How he finds it hard to believe that i have no complaints about being a Muslim, particularly a Muslim woman. He kept pushing over the thought that I was oppressed. 

I asked him to look at me, to show me at what point he thinks I was oppressed.

The fact is, Allah never could tolerate a creation of the Almighty being oppressed, so how could submitting to our lord ever bring upon Oppression.

It is nothing but the easiest door to access lifetime privilege.

We have to read. We have to listen. We have to look. We have to observe. We have to reflect. We have to pray. And for all of this to happen we have to accept to submit. Submission is and will only be the key to peace. Islam has derived two meaning one is Peace and the other is To submit. This submission should be to Allah alone. If not what happens is we find chaos surrounding us. We feel less privileged and utterly lost.

I know the Muslim youth including me today is struggling, to find a space and understand their faith in a world filled with explicit evil. Everything that is cultural is somehow imbibed into religion and often we are completely deviating from the faith and it's spiritual norms. 

For eg.Prayer which is supposed to be an intimate conversation with you lord on Allah's command has become a mere ritual. Everywhere you have justification and reasoning but not faith.

It can be hard living a life with confusions and chaos. This is why you have the Quran. It's not a book that speaks about how to worship, but it is the key to living in this world. And if one has the Quran close to oneself, there's no way they would drift into the maze of hardships.

Life on this earth is and will always be a trial. And every trial is a blessing of its own. And every blessing a trial.

My privilege will and is always my faith in Allah. And a family who has helped me grow along with it. 

My prayers to everyone is to have this privilege,to open up to your Lord who is eagerly waiting.  There is a Hadith that goes like this " Allah say, take one step toward Me, I will take 10 steps towards you, Walk to Me, I will run to you"

Subhanallah.

There you have, the Wise one, The one who does not need you in any way, The Independent, The Bestower, The Guide, The Beloved waiting for you to merely call so as to run to you. What more would we want. 

There's a verse in the Quran that comes into my head now. 

"So which of the favours of your lord will you deny?"

I'll leave it with that for you to ponder. If you find something in here triggering you, I tell you to turn to the Quran. If you feel you are not able to comprehend, seek help, and Allah will grant it. 

My sincere prayers for my brothers and sisters who are struggling.

Love. Dua. Salaam.

Hiba Farook

A simple yearning

Tears rolled down as she sat to write down her journal. She was overwhelmed with feelings and the utter realisation she was lonely. Her desire to love and be loved was being delayed and every other happiness seemed a little less.

Is it too much to want such subtle expressions in life? She wrote down with a tear dropping down marking the intensity of her question.

To read with a lover and to listen to a lover read. How beautiful would it be. To cherish a moment so precious. For it could be under the street lights on a buzzing night when the entire city seems to be rushing, but we would just sit amidst all the noise and find ourselves embracing in a different world. Each word you utter could raise me and help me find a love unnoticed in the previous sentence. And every time I readout, you could kiss each syllable and lend me your ears to adore them with words. It could be a memoir or a book about memories. A novel perhaps that talks about how the protagonist remembers a man but never finds him. Something magical and a little sad. Something that would make us want to find comfort in each other's voices as we read. 

What is it that I miss? This void around me is surrounding me with something so terrible. The strange realisation that I am lonely most often hits when I stand to brush. I see there's only one brush and that you're still to come around. Ah! I feel sleepy, yet I need to find comfort. Will, you read me in your dreams? Or shall I find comfort in a dream-less slumber? 

She fell asleep with words unfinished. Somewhere on the other side of the galaxy, he picked up the book to start reading where she left off.

Image - One Spring Night (K-drama)

a deranged woman's cry for silencing her void.

There's a void that needs to be silenced. I know, how ironical is it that the emptiness rattles so much. But you see, this comes from the absence of a sort of peace. That packed it bag along with your farewell. What am I mad about? Well the sanity you took along with had every ounce of my conscious being searching for a love that seemingly is not to be entitled yours. I am enraged! Moreover mad! Does any of this make sense? Or am I deranged? Not that I care for I've lost my eyes and my heart has been your shadow since the last goodbye.

hope of helpless memory

Sometimes, I have found a haven in moments. In the temporal space, they created. In the absence of chaos. These moments are vivid and struck right in my memories. They are what I call hope. If there was a dust of unconsciousness in me, they would've been tarnished. They are never lost, they just keep appearing once in a while.

On one such moment, I met you, in the same temporal space. You left, but the memory has carved a void in my heart. 

What do I do, with such a helpless memory?

I guess I just hope.

Healing is (not) static

Time never was kind. It's duty is to keep moving and drag you along with it. If you expect to pause, you are at loss. You are insane. Time walks and you are to walk. The breaking of the heart moves on and heals along with time. But you've to move along. Grasping onto time and pulling it is going to hurt. 

Move on. Love isn't static, neither is a broken you.

Punish Thoughts-1

How do you live like this? With this thought of death surrounding you. Everywhere you look around, you feel suffocated. The urge to puke it all out, but it's somewhere stuck. Ugh. Where am I? What darkness is it that I am surrounded? How are you? I feel I am moved with that. To be precisely sick but having to say I am fine!

There is so much pregnant in my head, and I feel like I'll always be pregnant. There is a need to deliver, but I've yet to find how. What is this guilt that is slowly eating me? This urge to want to throw things, or more like run away. How are they connected? I do not know.

I am upset. I am tired. I am fed up. I am irritated. And there is nothing I can do about it. I suppose. Or there is, but I am scared. And the fear is what's laughing at me. Ah, the blues of life. The greens of life. And a mixture of grey. But who understands? Who do I talk about it? Where do I run? I feel there is a part of me stuck somewhere on the other side of the earth, or galaxy? And I have to run out there. Where is the road? Where are my legs? What has it been that I am no longer existing? Or am I breathing and not existing? Where are these thoughts coming from me? Hahaha. Okay. That's for today. Shut up thoughts. Bye. Let me sleep.

Lessons on Love.

I need love. But I need to unlearn love first. For that, I need to strip out all that's covering me. From the senseless love notes to toxic expressions of love. I need to find myself shamelessly standing unclothed of love. This I need, to be born again with Love.

They say love is unconditional. That is true, but you can only experience that with your Lord. Man in his nature loves with conditions and that's okay. Imperfections need a bunch of conditions to live a life of normalcy.

Hence I need my Lord more than anyone else.  No human can make me believe in illusions of intense love. Intensity lies within hearts that have experienced love from Al-Wadud.

To be loved by Allah is an experience for a conscious mind. Allah is The Protector, and every time we shift our priorities to people or things that bound to bring in the baggage of pain, Allah takes them away. Allah is The Wise. And so plans Allah makes are never flawed. They are beautifully fulfilling but limited to our intellect. Our ego gets hurt while reading the previous line, but that's the truth.

I had to explain to my fellow mates why I love Allah so much. How I find it easy to not blame Allah in anything? Why do I tend to be so sure of Allah? What is trust and how do I easily trust my lord? How come I don't complain about Allah to anyone? The list doesn't end.

But I chose to submit and let Allah's will take its course of action. And that makes me yearn for my Beloved more than anything. For the unconditional love that I am bestowed upon purely by Allah's mercy and compassion. 

Alhamdulillah.

Of Written (documenting thoughts)

Sometimes I go across my own words and am surprised at how much they speak to me. And that's when I realise how the Almighty chose me to write them. For they are healing and a reminder for my circumstances.

Whenever someone tells me of how they find words from my book helping them, I am again humbled. I take no credit, for it was solely Allah's will that I write. 

And now as I sit to write my second book, I find myself again humbly in gratitude to my lord, for in the coming years these words are to speak.

Alhamdulillah.

/in gratitude and humility for all the words that have spilt upon Your command/